Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Spider in the Shower Doom

Why on earth do spiders like to sneak up on you in the shower?

Because they're assholes, that's why.

Every time I close my eyes in the shower I expect to open them to see a spider preparing to launch and stick to my face like one of those face huggers from Alien.  Sadistic bastards.

I can't stand how people say that they're much more afraid of me than I am afraid of them because, without fail, when a spider appears in the shower with me, it makes a bee-line for me.  It does NOT run screaming the other way shouting, "OH MY GOD IT'S MANDIEEEE RUN AWAY!!!!!!!"

Do I have some sort of target on me while in the shower?  Do spiders put out little "wanted" posters with my face all plastered over them with a reward for scaring me in the shower?

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to spider-check my shower.


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