Friday, April 10, 2015

This is why I don't make fun of gerbils or eat cronut burgers Doom

I'm completely afraid of large machinery.

I don't know how else to put it.

It could be anything from a giant mechanical King Kong on an amusement park ride (totally happened)  to a giant claw at a scrap metal yard (also happened).  I'm not afraid of the fact that it's King Kong.  I'm afraid of the fact that it's a giant machine.  Same with the scrap metal claw.  It's a giant machine.

They all give me the oogies.  More than the oogies...all out panic.  I mean who's controlling those things anyhow?  It certainly isn't me.  For all I know, gerbils are running around controlling it while plotting the demise of the human race in revenge for all the Richard Geere jokes.

 I also picture them being artificially intelligent and under the control of no one.  SKYNET HAS TAKEN OVER, PEOPLE!  Next thing you know there's a war between humans and machines and the giant mechanical King Kong gets a glowing eye and the urge to kill all the people in Disneyland over the existence of the cronut burger.  Some would argue that if we invent shit like that, of course the machines would think us worthy of extinction.

I know that's not true.  I do.

But still somehow large machinery still freaks me right the hell out.

I'll be back.  (had to be done)

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