Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Smelly Doom

I have 3 cats.  No I'm not a cat lady yet...I swear.  I'm pretty sure you need at least 6 or more to be a cat lady.

Sorry Mom.  You just might be a cat lady.

Notice that I left out "crazy".  While I do think that bowing down to our cat overlords is a bit crazy, I don't think it makes you a crazy cat lady.  Crazy cat lady would have to be 15 or so cats.*

But who cares, right?  This ain't about the number of cats you have.  This is about having a smelly cat.

One of my 3 cats has long hair and let's just say that sometimes...umm...things get stuck to his hiney that I like to call "cling-ons".  Yep, occasionally he gets a poop stuck in his pants.  I keep his butt hair trimmed the best that I can but sometimes it just happens, yanno?


I swear to god I've cleaned him 3 times now and he still stinks to me.  It's probably a bad idea to febreze him, right?  <sigh>

See now I think I can never have anyone over because I never know when he's going to get a cling-on and then stink for the whole day no matter how much I clean him.  This could spiral out of control until it invariably ends in me shaving the poor cat bald.  He's a big cat too so I don't think he'd look especially good bald.  It might make him downright angry and nobody holds a grudge better than a cat ( as cat owners well know ).

There ya go.  My life could be ruined over because of a smelly, angry cat.

And I would take it too because he'd turn around and do something cute making me go, "aww who's a handsome kitty?".

Smelly cat bastard.

Why does he have to be cute?

*It's not a fact.  It's just me making shit up 'cause it's my blog and I can.

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